1. Wow, I can so relate! Thank you for this great post. Looking forward to reading more as a Norcal mom, woman navigating mid-life, a wine lover and huge Giants fan. So glad my friend shared your post. I too have shared it… Cheers!

  2. I continue to walk that line carefully, too. I keep trying to remember what it felt like to have parental units offering unsolicited advice and how that made me feel. It’s tough to stand by silently, but I think there are permanent marks left from all the times I bite my tongue where my kids are concerned. If they want my advice, they will ask–I hope!

  3. What a beautiful exploration of the push-pull of motherhood! I’m not a mother, but was essentially the parent to my own mother for most of my life, so I can still relate to the challenges of standing by with zipped lips while your “dependent” makes choices you know will come back to bite them. I’ll wager your children have learned by what you modeled for them and the advice you gave. Sadly, my mother never seemed to get it.

  4. Marti Fledderman

    I frequently refer to the quote I have on the refrigerator: “A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary”. Dorothy Canfield Fisher
    It reminds me that my job is to make them self sufficient. It may have been easier for me with Courtney as she is so much like me that I am more confident of her ability to navigate life.
    I agree, though, that this is a tough time as a mother. Now that I have also retired, where is my purpose? Sleeping on it.

  5. So beautifully written. Being a Mom is the hardest, most rewarding job I have ever had. Each child is different and each age is unique. It’s like you are constantly learning a new dance. The most important thing I wanted to impart to my children was to love yourself, allow yourself to be loved and to love others. They are 34 and 36 now……….both loving, caring people.

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